get out of the box and step into the clear.

truth: i, for many years, have kept myself trapped in a little box. i have a pretty warped perception of myself that comes from the way i have always felt that my personality determines i should be. because i was "quiet" growing up, i saw myself as boring. i stayed in that little box in order to protect myself from getting hurt by those who might not find me interesting or fun. in turn, my actions led to others putting me in a box of their own. it became a vicious cycle of frustration and irritation, one that seemed completely impossible to escape from.

just in the last year or so, i have finally allowed myself to be myself, who i really am, and not much else. of course, remnants of those urges to hide my quirks still remain. i am still leery of what others' judgement of me may be and at times that prevents me from doing things that i would definitely do otherwise. but, i would say, 99.9% (ok, maybe just 97%) of the time, i make the choices i think are best for me.

the most recent episode of ugly betty touched on this topic, and i totally identified with betty. first off, i think ugly betty deserves more acclaim as a tv show for it's perfect mix of the most hilarious and the serious aspects of life. secondly, way to go betty for being totally weird and spunky! i love it. anyway, on the last episode, betty was feeling trapped in her own little box, created by her own view of herself and the opinions of her family. but betty, being resilient as she is, smashed that box and helped to remove some of her own hesitations about herself. it was such a great reminder for me.

betty = awesome.