peace out.

i need to go on hiatus. this sounds pretty appealing to me:

i'm going north
up where the hunted hide with ease
under the arms of eye-less trees
up where the answers fall like leaves
and your love is all I need
i'm going north

-missy higgins

twenty-four.

i just celebrated my twenty-fourth birthday. wow. twenty-four? that's old, right? well, that's what i used to think. now i'm realizing how young that truly is. i don't know much, but i have learned a few things about life in my time. especially over the last year, i feel that i have really explored what makes me happy and have found my "niche." listed below are some things i already have an affinity for and and some things that i hope will soon become favorites.

present:
1. coffee shop music: i live and breathe for this stuff. if you don't know joshua radin and ray lamontagne, et al., you should get to know them. amazing music.
2. traveling: i want to see the world, and the list of places to go is endless! thank goodness i'm only 24.
3. being green: recycle, eat organic, buy less, use less. the earth will thank you.
4. reading: i feel more knowledgeable when i do. plus, it's a wonderful escape.

future:
1. guitar playing: i got an acoustic guitar for my birthday! i cannot wait to start jammin' on that thing.
2. knitting: this is not just your grandma's hobby anymore. i want to make awesome scarves and hats and random things like resuable coffee sleeves and cases for iPods!
3. politics: i need to be more savvy in this area, for real. i've always been pretty apathetic, but that's not ok with me anymore. it's time to pay attention.
4. mountain biking: my hot pink, purple and turquoise bike (lovingly known as "Sassy") is not going to cut it for the hardcore trails i want to ride. ;)

dave and matt

these boys are precious. love them. enjoy this little gem (and take note of matt's music of choice).

because one post today is not enough

speaking of serving others, i am a newfound supporter of this organization: to write love on her arms.

life is full of hardship and trials, some more difficult than others and most that we cannot understand. but we are here to love and to support each other through those times. i love how the creators of this organization decribe our role:

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."

something to remember as we walk this road together.

hearts of servants

today i'm feeling the weight of our calling to live as servants, to serve Christ and others before ourselves. it's such a hard thing to do because our culture is so driven by doing what makes you happy or what can put you ahead. however, in order to follow Jesus, we have to die to ourselves. we must serve Him and serve others out of love and generosity, not out of obligation or expectation. when i worked at kanakuk, one of the big things they taught was the "i'm third" philosophy. God first, others second, i'm third.

i need the Lord to remind me of that frequently.

give us a picture of Your face
show us the measure of Your grace
reveal the love of the Father
put within us tenderness
release from us all selfishness
we'll consider them better
we are Yours
give us hearts of servants

-shane & shane

what i would rather be doing right now

oh, how envious i am of this sweet frenchie's favorite pastime. :)

there is freedom in surrender

the aforementioned song lyric has really been near and dear to my heart lately. i've had to consider some big decisions in relation to the next year. namely, quitting my job. most of me really wants to quit in order to eliminate the precarious balancing act between school and work. the rest of me feels guilty and worried about where my source of income is going to come from without those paychecks. how am i going to make it through the next year without a job?

ultimately, i have realized that there is no room for that worry in this situation. when you surrender those things to God, there is freedom. there is freedom from worry, from fear, and from regret. one of the biggest things i have learned is that He will provide. i just have to step out on faith and trust that He is not going to leave me hanging. when you surrender, there is no need for worry.

i find the following lyrics to be incredibly poignant right now. when i heard this song at church last weekend, it finally hit me. it's going to be ok. God is on our side.

in You, Lord
there is nothing to lose, Lord
our hope and our future
are safe and secure in You

there is nothing better. what amazing freedom!

pad thai and preschoolers

i'll admit it: i'm a believer in fortune cookies. yes, occasionally you will get the random saying that means nothing. however, i have found that typically the fortunes i receive can be applied directly to my life in one way or another. case in point:

fortune #1:
"you have a charming way with words and should write a book."

i have always had a love for words (call me nerdy, i don't mind), and at one point in my college career i was bound for a career in journalism. writing is something i find to be cathartic, and twisting words into a story is something by which i'm incredibly intrigued. to have the opportunity to do that would be amazing. clearly, i chose not to pursue journalism, but it's not out of the question to someday write freelance. anyway, the reason i find this fortune to be significant is because just under a week after receiving it, i began this blog. it may not be a book, but it definitely involves writing. i'm going with it.

fortune #2:
"you will soon emerge victorious from the maze you've been traveling in."

my life over the last year has been filled with nothing but copious amounts of school and work, with maybe a little play on the side. it has been a verifiable maze, for sure. most of the time i saw no end to the insanity. now, as i enter the beginning of my second year of graduate school, i can see things more clearly. i can see myself fitting into the speech pathology puzzle. my clinical rotation this summer requires me to work with preschoolers. although i came into the program believing that i wouldn't want to work with children, i have found myself growing ever attached to those little kiddos. i'm seeing that aspect of the field in a new light and am certainly enjoying spending my mornings singing songs and playing games. although the convoluted maze i was wandering through last year was demanding and difficult, it has brought me to my current position. i see that the end is drawing near, and that one day very soon i will be working in the field i am so passionate about. thank you, fortune cookie, for reminding me of that fact.

my suggestion: go eat some asian food of your choice, and find out what is awaiting you.

and the world spins madly on...

summer. oh, how i wish i had a real summer this year! alas, there is never a quiet moment in the life of a grad student. so many thoughts are running through my head right now, therefore i decided to create this blog. so...where do i go from here? what do i say? do i have anything to say?

in order to avoid the risk of saying too much right away, i'll start with a list of a few things that are currently inspiring me.

1. music: tifah al-attas, kari jobe, bethany dillon. these are people that love music and love the Lord and inspire me to combine those loves. a goal for the summer is to get a guitar and start learning! i can't wait.

2. nature: places like the one below, a view from my memorial weekend trip to branson. it may be just trees to you, but to me it's so vivid and fresh. it makes me feel alive! i love all the green. i could spend days and days in a place like this, pondering and reflecting on life.

3. people who give back: i recently watched the newest documentary from invisible children. unbelievably sad, but undeniably hopeful. three guys who are my age started this movement to free child soldiers in uganda. hearing their story makes me want to be better; it makes me want to do more to serve. there are so many ways we can do this. i've included a few links to my favorites.

invisiblechildren.com

mochaclub.org

tomsshoes.com